I won't be able to describe what has been going on in my life recently. This is simple fact. As St. Therese said, some things lose their fragrance when opened up to the air. I also don't think I have the words yet to understand my own experience and am still deeply processing. Suffice it to say, my energy has shifted, made unmistakable by the subsequent headaches such a shift has caused. In better words, shit has gone down and I've changed and deepened in a way I did not know was possible.
This started last weekend when I went to this thing called "EmergentSee" which was an anti-racism workshop (but so much more than that). These people hit hard and they hit hard right away. This was no Racism 101, no clean presentation, no child's talk. None of the lies we teach children about happy Natives eating turkey with white men. This was the real grime, the real history, the real stories and struggles of people right next to me. And my own. It was the real anger. It was the real pain, passed on from generation to generation.
It gave me a sacred space I have never known before. Never. In all my years of CLC, LMU, volunteering, whatever. Never had I been in a space where I was seen so fully and deeply. Never. This is a whole new level of truth.
How liberating. And how frightening.
I know this makes no sense to most of you. That's okay.
Everyone who has ever known me, you don't know me anymore.
Amendment: This does not include family. =)
Including me?
ReplyDeleteNo, not you. You have never stopped knowing me. Everyone else, though. =)
ReplyDeleteNo I don't know what you're talking about but I do know a little about what it's like to be liberated and I must say, what a blessed thing!! So excited for what is happening and for what is to come for you.
ReplyDelete