"If you knew me,
And you knew yourself,
You would not have killed me."
from a documentary on the genocide in Rwanda.
And yet we continue to kill each other in mind, body, and spirit.
We do it with the greatest intentions. In the name of country, and in the name of God.
Good, nice people, you think.
Hypocrites, the messiah calls you. Me.
If you only knew yourself.
If you only knew me.
You would not have hurt me.
"Este pueblo no se ahoga con marullos." We do not drown in the waves.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Burdened
Today's moment for meditation from Columbia St. Mary's:
A professor was giving a lecture on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" After many answers, he replied, "It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is okay. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later we will not be able to carry on. They will become so heavy. What we have to do is put the glass down and rest for a while before picking it up again so that we are refreshed. Whatever burdens you have on your shoulders right now, put them down for a moment if you can. Pick them up again when you have rested.
Is there truth to this meditation? Yes. I think this is about our inner lives, how I create suffering for myself as I hold onto what needs to be let go, released to the earth to be taken into Creation and reborn into new life.
But it is also a privilege to be able to put down your burdens for a while. The question I keep asking myself is: what about those who are not allowed to forget? People of color are never allowed to forget about racism. People who are poor are never allowed to forget about poverty. People with diabilities are never allowed to forget ableism. In these cases it is a function of privilege to be able to rest for a while.
An ally is willing to think about racism and white supremacy as much as people of color have to. An ally is willing to think about poverty as much as people in poverty have to. An ally doesn't take breaks because the oppressed can't.
But can the oppressed put down their burdens too? I think sometimes, in the right environment. We glimpse into what it feels like to breathe and realize we haven't been breathing.
How can I breathe, be who I am, when there is racism all around me?
How do I be a genuine ally to those whose oppression suffocates?
When am I the oppressor?
A professor was giving a lecture on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" After many answers, he replied, "It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is okay. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later we will not be able to carry on. They will become so heavy. What we have to do is put the glass down and rest for a while before picking it up again so that we are refreshed. Whatever burdens you have on your shoulders right now, put them down for a moment if you can. Pick them up again when you have rested.
Is there truth to this meditation? Yes. I think this is about our inner lives, how I create suffering for myself as I hold onto what needs to be let go, released to the earth to be taken into Creation and reborn into new life.
But it is also a privilege to be able to put down your burdens for a while. The question I keep asking myself is: what about those who are not allowed to forget? People of color are never allowed to forget about racism. People who are poor are never allowed to forget about poverty. People with diabilities are never allowed to forget ableism. In these cases it is a function of privilege to be able to rest for a while.
An ally is willing to think about racism and white supremacy as much as people of color have to. An ally is willing to think about poverty as much as people in poverty have to. An ally doesn't take breaks because the oppressed can't.
But can the oppressed put down their burdens too? I think sometimes, in the right environment. We glimpse into what it feels like to breathe and realize we haven't been breathing.
How can I breathe, be who I am, when there is racism all around me?
How do I be a genuine ally to those whose oppression suffocates?
When am I the oppressor?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Nancy Northshore
That is the term my boss used for the rich white people in Milwaukee who live on the north end of Lake Michigan. Those Nancy Northshores who are also pregnant go to Childbirth class with me on Monday nights. I've been to 4 two-hour classes so far, but what I am finding most interesting is what is not said out loud in class.
There are several things that have become ridiculously clear to me in this class. The first is that none of these women have ever been in any real pain before (physical or otherwise), and so the thought of labor is terrifying. The second is that they want control over what is happening in their bodies and their own fear so the way they seek control (and are taught to get control) is by intellectual domination.
The first item is a symptom of a white supremist western society in the US but especially in Milwaukee that gives unearned privileged to white people just because they are white. Just one result of that is that these women don't know how to cope with pain. That can be true of other people in other populations as well, but I think it is especially true for these women.
The second is also a symptom of a white supremist western society based on Eurocentric values that favors rational intelligence over body intelligence. The body becomes something we must overcome intellectually by learning about it and understanding it, as if we are floating heads over dragging bodies. When we understand in our minds what our bodies do, then we have some sort of control over them. This domination of the intellect over the body is one of the reasons the Vatican cites against contraception, maintaining at least officially the stance that human beings are spirits incarnate, a being of body-mind-spirit so intertwined that we cannot separate one aspect from the other. But I digress.
Okay, so how does this happen in childbirth class? Well, I think the two key lessons in class can be summed up pretty quickly: 1. Every pregnancy/labor and delivery is different. 2. Your body already knows how to do this and will do it.
This seems great so far, but then the rest of the class series is all about creating a birth plan, practicing poses, understanding what hormones do what, etc. And some of it is good to know in case of emergencies, of course. But most of the time in class we literally pound our brains over what our body already knows how to do just so that we are comfortable with our body doing it. Then we create a flexible plan so that we feel in control again, because we would rather have our intellect in control than our bodies.
Wow, what good is that? What if we taught body intelligence instead and learned to trust our bodies? Or found a balance between useful brain knowledge and even more useful body knowledge? So how do you teach body intelligence? I've sat still in too many classrooms to know, but I think I know who to ask.
I guess I'll get back to you on that.
race angst.
There are several things that have become ridiculously clear to me in this class. The first is that none of these women have ever been in any real pain before (physical or otherwise), and so the thought of labor is terrifying. The second is that they want control over what is happening in their bodies and their own fear so the way they seek control (and are taught to get control) is by intellectual domination.
The first item is a symptom of a white supremist western society in the US but especially in Milwaukee that gives unearned privileged to white people just because they are white. Just one result of that is that these women don't know how to cope with pain. That can be true of other people in other populations as well, but I think it is especially true for these women.
The second is also a symptom of a white supremist western society based on Eurocentric values that favors rational intelligence over body intelligence. The body becomes something we must overcome intellectually by learning about it and understanding it, as if we are floating heads over dragging bodies. When we understand in our minds what our bodies do, then we have some sort of control over them. This domination of the intellect over the body is one of the reasons the Vatican cites against contraception, maintaining at least officially the stance that human beings are spirits incarnate, a being of body-mind-spirit so intertwined that we cannot separate one aspect from the other. But I digress.
Okay, so how does this happen in childbirth class? Well, I think the two key lessons in class can be summed up pretty quickly: 1. Every pregnancy/labor and delivery is different. 2. Your body already knows how to do this and will do it.
This seems great so far, but then the rest of the class series is all about creating a birth plan, practicing poses, understanding what hormones do what, etc. And some of it is good to know in case of emergencies, of course. But most of the time in class we literally pound our brains over what our body already knows how to do just so that we are comfortable with our body doing it. Then we create a flexible plan so that we feel in control again, because we would rather have our intellect in control than our bodies.
Wow, what good is that? What if we taught body intelligence instead and learned to trust our bodies? Or found a balance between useful brain knowledge and even more useful body knowledge? So how do you teach body intelligence? I've sat still in too many classrooms to know, but I think I know who to ask.
I guess I'll get back to you on that.
race angst.
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